honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
