I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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