You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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