Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
