so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
