Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
