Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize