another moral hangover. fuck.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
