A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize