I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize