Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
