I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize