You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
