Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I still have a little drunk in my system
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
