just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize