friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
