How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
