I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize