What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
