why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
