he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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