we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
