ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
