we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
