You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
