You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
