he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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