OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
