Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize