perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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