You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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