This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
