My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
