Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
