I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
