Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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