ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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