it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
