he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
