Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
