I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize