She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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