your parents love me but you hate me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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