Non-Jews are for practice
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
