Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
