i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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