How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
