all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
