a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
