i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
