Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
