Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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