I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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