We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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