there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fuck appropriateness.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize