No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize