But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
