I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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