it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize