Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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