We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
