i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
