I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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