i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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