I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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