this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
