Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
